Train up children do not maltreat them : By Emmanuel Quayson

 

Bible says train up a child the way he should go and when he grows he will never depart from it. Sadly many parents beat up, punish, insult, humiliate a child the way he should go and when he grows he become more rebellious. Instead of training the child they resort to the aforementioned. To train is to teach, impact, direct, encourage, rebuke, instruct, strengthen, discipline, correct, nurture, demonstrate, lead etc a person (my own definition). You don't only beat a person or punish them when they go wrong but you teach them the right rudiments of life unless they exhibit foolishness and with that you must use the rod or cane on them. The Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child so canning a child is acceptable in the Bible but it should not be rampant and it depends on the age. 

One thing you must do as a parent is to be strategic, once your child reaches the age of understanding things you must deploy a more diplomatic way of dealing with them and not a hostile, suppressive way of handling issues with them. Sometimes your suppressive and punishing nature instead of training the child is what has helped in creating the monster you see before you today. Parents must also learn how to be parents from the Bible and good model families all around us. As a parent you must know the temperaments of your children and adjust to who they are. If you are a choleric and your child is phlegmatic, you don't force them to become like you or if you are a sanguine and your child is a choleric you don't force them to be like you. 

A child's temperaments is not his or her fault, that is how God carved or weaved them for a purpose. Let me use myself as an example, naturally I am the very bold, articulate, vocal, aggressive type of person but very gentle and humble at heart and I see myself gravitating more towards reasoning and a round table discussion not oppression and suppression. I am a goal getter, a fast mover and the courageous type. I have my flaws though, I think at times I am impatient and I like doing things my way which at times can be good and at times can be bad but I am temperate in all things and I keep learning from my mistakes.

So if you interpret these temperaments as pride or rebellion and you mishandle me in a way, then you won't get the best out of me because it's partly my nature. Why not rather set me on a course to achieve something for you since I have a great posture for achievements? Definitely can't be a security man because I love to move and get something done.  Same way if your child is reserved and laid back, calculative, careful and shy you don't insult them with their temperaments but you find their strength and you help them to develop it. Many parents themselves lack proper training so they can't train their children well enough. Everybody can have sex and be a parent but it takes the wisdom of God to become a good parent.

Training is a deliberate effort to teach a child and you cannot replace it with beating them and shouting at them. Nobody gets trained by being shouted or beaten if anything at all you create rebels. Some parents think the only way to exert their authority for children to know I am the mother or father is to put fear in them or to beat them. Look, you are creating a monster for yourself. In a certain country people are not prosecuted or further charged for breaking jail because the laws of the country says it is human nature to seek for freedom. If you oppress and supress a child up to a point the human nature will take effect. 

Have you not heard of children who killed their parents or even beat them up? As much it is wrong and condemnable you must ask what was the role of the parent in being treated like that by his or her own child? God is a reasonable, logic, sensible and a just God. The Bible says he is a righteous judge. God will never punish a child or allow curses to follow them because you a parent suppressed a child to a breaking point and he rebelled against you just because book of Exodus says, 'honour your father and mother so your days may be long".

 Some parents take advantage of this verse and mete out all kinds of evil to their wards but this same Bible says, "parents, don't provoke your children to anger". So God is a two sided God, he created both good and evil, he brought us Satan and Jesus at the same time so the laws of God are two sided. Did you not read that the Bible says that the word of God is like a two edge sword? It cuts on both side. So whiles you are looking forward to be honoured by your children, don't oppress or suppress them else God will not hold anything against them. I speak this with divine authority and by the spirit of God. We are all accountable to God and remember all of us our father is in heaven. 

Entering a place through a gate does not mean you belong to that gate. When God gives you children it does not mean they belong to you. All children belong to God and has a purpose for each one of them. So don't think you can divert, destroy or suppress a person's life because you are a parent. God will be angry with you. You are only a medium God used to bring his own to this Earth and you have no authority or right to destroy your child because you have spent money on them. What is money compared to the will of God for your child? 

You don't have that right to destroy a child, else God himself will deal with you severely. Allow children to grow, train them for God and set them on a path to fulfil their destiny. God chose Abraham to become the father of all Nations because God communed with himself and said Abraham will bring up his child after me. God expects parents to bring children up in his ways so they may know him and get closer to him. No one can fully fulfil his destiny without knowing God and parenting is the medium God chooses for his own to know him, so ask yourself where are you drifting your children's attention to? To God in heaven or to yourself so your children may love you and do what you want? Some parents wants their children to worship idols or follow Satan too because that is what they believe in, it is wrong. 

You can guide them but you don't decide their future or destiny because God brought them here for a purpose. Many parents have become enemies to God because they tried interfering in the destinies of their children. May I tell you this that God will cut you off if you become a stumbling block to your child's destiny. Pastors should not be preaching to children only to respect their parents no matter how they are and start preaching to parents to also treat their children well. This is the way of God. Many parents out of life frustration maltreat their children mercilessly, you are a bad parent and a bad caretaker if you do so. 

Every parent must see themselves as caretakers of God's children. Mary and Joseph, God chose to bring Jesus on earth to fulfil God's destiny not the destiny Mary and Joseph chose for him. I am also led by the spirit of God to declare that this is why many parents die before their children fulfil their destinies. If you realise that God wants to use your child for something, perhaps has a talent, a gift or the call of God is on their life but you say you won't allow it, I tell you with no shadow of doubt in my heart that God will kill you or use circumstances and means to separate you and your children. 

Is it not mothers who abandon foetus in latrines? Or is it not parents who abort a child? God forgive many parents for this wrong because you are aborting the destiny of a child. You see just as many parents abort their children, it is the same way many parents have aborted the destinies of their children and they must repent and seek for forgiveness with God. God will not destroy or punish a child when he or she rebels against a parent's deliberate attempt to destroy their destinies here on earth. If for anything at all, God will bless them and lift them higher in life. Let us all pay heed and take care of what God has committed in our care as parents.

May God add blessings to the reading of these words. God bless you as you read. My name is Emmanuel Quayson, a servant of God.

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